The mind.

Every month I go and get waxed. Ladies you know what I am talking about here. I am a little on the weird side and I enjoy the pain of it. Its like getting a new tattoo or getting a little rough in the bed.

Anyways my wax lady likes to play music while we are chatting and this last time a song came on and I went silent. She asked what was up and I said this song just reminds me someone. It was the vocal version of Tequila by Dan and Shay, if you have never heard it go play it! Anyways with that song and the pain I was enjoying a memory flashed into my head. I have always been able to associate a song with a memory weather good or bad. 99% of the time I can remember every detail of the memory that flashes into my mind weather wanted or unwanted.

This memory takes me back to Arizona. I was alone in the house that night and like always I woke up when the door opened. As I walk out of my bedroom in a sleepy daze cleaning my eyes of the sleep I was getting, I turned the corner to see a man knelt down petting Ares. In a horse, I just worked my ass off voice he says good morning. I look up and probably bluse 50 shades red said good morning. I knew in that moment I needed to take Ares turn around and go back to bed because that was not something I wanted to get into or find out what my dumbass would do.

I stayed awake the rest of the night and looked at the wall wondering what I was thinking in that moment. Was I lonely? Was it because I was no longer getting attention? Was it because I had lost my self-confidence? I don’t know but every now and then like at this appointment that feeling comes back into my body.

It is funny how any action, any second, any thought can change the course of your life. What if I didn’t stay in Arizona? What if I followed my gut instead of heart and left when I had planned to? What if I never even went to Arizona? Would I have saved myself all the pain or would I have continued to grow here?

You never know who or what is going to happen in your life but everyone enters for a reason. While I don’t know the reason for my ex, I do know the reason for my roommate. I am forever grateful for him and our time of weird talks and life advice. He was young but wise and while our lives may have drifted apart I sure hope he is happy and is getting everything he has ever deserved in this life time.

Strength comes from the madness we survive and I am one strong woman!

Life is crazy but memories last a lifetime.

I hope everyone has a great day!