My volleyball season is over. We took first in the league and I sure has a blast doing it. I am ready to have my weeks free of volleyball for now and get into a routine before school starts.

Today was a hectic day all around. Patients were definitely sweet today so I am going to guess the isn’t a full moon!

I realized I really need to tone down my anger and look at the positives in my life because I sure have plenty.

It is amazing how someone can enter your life at just the right time and make everything seem so amazing. Even if this is temporary I have made a decision to put effort into it. This decision didn’t come easy and I am scared but you can’t break an already broken heart. When someone can come in and make all your problems seem so small they are one to keep around. I’m won’t jump in full force anymore. I keep a lot of my issues and life to myself until I can trust again, if I can trust again.

I have a few open letters I’ll be posting at some time I just want to make sure they are right and nothing can be taken a wrong way.

Today is also national Rainbow baby day.

A rainbow baby is a name coined for a healthy baby born after losing a baby due to miscarriage, infant loss, stillbirth, or neonatal death. The name “rainbow baby” comes from the idea of a rainbow appearing in the sky after a storm, or after a dark and turbulent time.

The estimated figure is that miscarriage happens in around 1 in 4 recognised pregnancies, with 85% of those happening in the first trimester (weeks 1 to 12). A ‘late’ miscarriage, which is much less common, may occur between weeks 13 to 24 of pregnancy.

1 in 4 woman will lose a baby. Just because they haven’t developed doesn’t mean it isn’t very real for some woman. The pain and grief that comes along with losing someone you never met or wanted so badly is hard.

Being there for someone who lost a baby is the greatest thing you can do. Weather it’s holding them while they cry or listening when they are crying at night, anything because they don’t want to be alone.

I am 1 in 4 and I am so excited for my rainbow baby. Not everyone likes to use that term because it means being excited for something when they lost something.

I have only ever wanted a complete family and while I am turning 30 very soon I have days when I’m sad that I still haven’t found my happy ever after. I grieve somedays of what I thought I had. I wish everyday I could go back and redo what was started but even then I don’t know if that would have changed the outcome.

The pain I feel is very real and while I have let him go to the fullest there are something’s I am having a harder time letting go and I don’t know if I’ll ever be ok.

I am 1 in 4 and I pray for everyone else that has been through this. You are strong, amazing and know it isn’t your fault. If you had to do it alone, I am so terribly sorry but you aren’t anymore. I am here.

I hope everyone has a great day! Tomorrow is Friday so complete this week thinking of all the positive in your life ❤️

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