Will I ever be ok?

The last few weeks have been absolutely packed with craziness.

I am in the process of completely redoing my back yard. From a new fence to a deck patio and fire pit patio.

Along with all that we have been camping, going to the lake house, having cook outs, hiking, working and spending lots of time with family.

Once a month the guys let the moms go have a Saturday to themselves. They take all the kids and do something with them normally it’s a home renovation in one of our houses and we go have shenanigans. They are absolutely amazing for letting us have that day to us.

Yesterday we headed to the Wisconsin Dells and did a hunt of the town. Little clues that led us around the strip. We also visited some adult stores! After all that this little one turned a year old 🤍

It was one hell of an amazing day.

Today I woke up with a list of Sunday things planned. Headed out to Cabelas, menards and Costco.

Costco was a little hard for me. I found out that I am the only one on the account now. While it closes a chapter I am having a bit of hard time about it. I cried in the car after thinking how you can talk to someone for so long and have parts that are still not known and they never will be anymore. It’s like they never existed and you just live life with a hole in your heart.

I have been getting better I go days without thinking of Skyler but the days I do the thoughts seem to consume my day. I struggle with multiple things still. I want to hear his voice again. I want to know why just why he left without so much as a goodbye. I know I will never get that, it silently eats away at my heart as I no longer speak of him to anyone. He was my best friend, the only person I loved as an adult and the only person to break my heart into what feels like a million pieces.

I hope he is well. I hope life is everything he has everything he has wanted and most of all I hope he has everything I couldn’t give him. My love will never stop for the man that change my world.

I hope everyone is happy and healthy 🤍

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