Its been a long time since I have written on here.
Some things that have been going on-
- Planning the wedding.
- Got a chocolate lab- Athena
- Kept children alive
- Oldest has joined soccer- crazy weekends
- Started medication for another baby
- Painted the house and then painted again
- Evicted my tenants and got new ones
- Been camping
- Planned more camping trips
- Planned annual Fourth of July party
Now that the update is out of the way lets chat.
Back on January 1st- yes you guessed it, I got the most random email. The subject had misspellings, it was a very odd message. It said that family was really important to them and yet when messaged back they never communicated again. Why reach out but not want to talk? It was one of Skylers family members- it sent me into panic for days. After three years you want to know if you have a niece or nephew? After three years you want to say you would be there but then aren’t? So I took to the time to find all the crap that was in the house that he left behind and off it went.
I love my life. I am thankful for the horrible pain he put me through. I am stronger and so much better. Do some questions still haunt- OF COURSE! I believe they always will. Like….
- Who the fuck does that someone?
- How bad did you hate your life that you had to physically and mentally destroy another human life?
- What “woman” can live with themselves knowing their “marriage” damn near killed someone and hurt a child?
- How can you deny a child that you made and live your life? (However his dad did the same)
I could never continue on if I knew someone was hurting because the answers they needed where ones I could give. I wouldn’t care if the answers hurt, if they wanted them I would give them.
Now while those things still hurt my heart- I am again thankful for what happened. I am glad I wasn’t the one because I found so much better. I found someone who makes our family complete.
He is here healing the heart he didn’t break and loving the children he didn’t make along with raising our son together! We are the best team and if I can’t give my all he makes sure to pick it up so our children know what a loving, caring partnership looks like. I have dreamed my whole life for the family we have created. Being a SAHM it can sometimes get hard but he makes sure that I get me time, weather its going out with friends, sending me for a spa day, sending me to target for something knowing damn well I’ll just walk around.
Now don’t get me wrong we have a “bad” days but we know its not me vs. him vs. problem its him & I vs. the problem.
Now that is about it in our life. I think my favorite activity so far this year was a remodel we did together of our camper. Gutted/painted/built new seating. We did it so our youngest could play and have max amount of room if it is raining out. A big trip is coming up at the end of May and I’ll be sure to post pictures.
I know nothing to great to update everyone but part of me is almost ready to be done writing here. I used it as a outlet and I’ll always leave my story up and allow anyone who needs a friend to reach me but at some point the posts will stop and I’ll close this chapter. I randomly posts photos of adventures, so they are always kept in one place!
Be nice because this world is full of shitty people already.